The Smoker’s Jargon Decoded

sm

The following terms are not in alphabetical order because neither smoking, nor coolness or Death for that matter, are very systematized actions.

cigarette /sigaret/ noun TOBACCO in a tube of thin white paper that people smoke:

A stick of death that slowly gnaws at all frustration. Frustration, like unrequited love, is chronic. It begins during those days of teenage when you juggle among anxious parents, the threat of an adverse future, the demands of a sexual partner…not to forget, your mood swings that toss at once carefree days- all in the name of Life, and haunts you till the ignited end of the stick gnaws at your shadow to render it to ashes.

coolness /kulnes/ noun the quality or state of being cool:

The Nirvana of Kurt Cobain, the enigma in Marylin Monroe’s lips, the habit that Mark Twain quit a thousand times, or simply the popular senior at the college freshers’- coolness is the nicotine for every smoker, most of whom begin young.

passive smoking /pæsiv/ noun the act of breathing in smoke from other people’s cigarettes:

In buses, trains, airplanes, hospitals, schools and other places where the smoker performs his on-stage performances, passive smoking is an unavoidable evil that makes everyone around cringe, gesticulating to the smoker their disapproval of the tabooed action. At home, however, the smoker unmasks themselves to let their family a glance at (read breath of) how well they perform off-stage too. However, it is not always loathsome; it has been for generations exerting peer pressure in and around college premises.

anti-nicotine /anti-nikotin/ noun antidote to the poisonous chemical substance (nicotine) in TOBACCO:

An illusion that merely boosts the irresistible urge to smoke and smoke and…

tobacco /t-bako/ noun the substance that people smoke in cigarettes and pipes (the dried leaves of the tobacco plant):

Ain’t nothing on earth, that can compete with Mortality as efficiently as a leveller as tobacco can. Prince and pauper, feminist and sexist, young and once-young alike- to each, their own; be it from a pipe, vaporizer, roll-your-own, kretek, hookah, or beedi, dried leaves blow all across the social matrix.

cancer /kænser/ noun a very serious disease in which lumps grow in the body:

Cancer, as smokers believe, is the fourth sign of the zodiac. Most think they are lucky until they are not anymore. It is a sting of fate that bites some smokers. It is not a disease that afflicts one at a time, but it makes tears so contagious that all near and dear ones of the one who physically suffers can never stop shedding tears. Strange, isn’t it?

Death /deth/ noun the end of sb/sth’s life; dying:

The Death of a person may be caused by an accident, suicidal tendencies, murder, the cycle of Nature, or through  tobacco- the last one being a clumsy method lethal to not just one life. The author thus recommends faster, more foolproof, lonelier, more accurate, less poetic and less cool methods to embrace the Eternal.


This post is has been made to support the #WorldNoTobaccoDay initiative by MANT and Kolkata Bloggers.
Edit: This entry was adjudged the best in the aforementioned blogging contest. Thank you for reading it. 🙂

Advertisements

17 Replies to “The Smoker’s Jargon Decoded”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s